Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.

Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.

The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.