Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.

Comedy has been my way to reconcile with the world. I didn't really set out to do this, but comedy has served as my outlet to address my issues I have with this crazy world.

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

Trannies dress up like women, then try to bang straight guys. They're the adrenaline junkies of gayness.

Drugs in a disco are great for white people because it allows them to feel more Puerto Rican while dancing.

I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.