Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

Ending a sentence with yo, is like saying, I don't want a job. Not today. Not ever. Know what I mean yo?

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

MTV has turned more young women into whores than poverty.