Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

If I were a gynecologist, I'd say things like, Okay, enough of the small talk. Let's check under the hood.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.

Nature's beauty never fails to fill me with a sense of wonder and awe, and still, I refuse to go camping.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.

When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.