I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time.

Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

When I was a kid I remember thinking, if I had a girl, I would treat her really well. Little did I know, they don't always like that.

The color red is associated with romance and blood, but not at the same time.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

Ending a sentence with yo, is like saying, I don't want a job. Not today. Not ever. Know what I mean yo?

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.