We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.

Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.

Every time I see someone taking care of a baby, I think why in the world would anyone willingly saddle themselves with that responsibility?

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

At the gym; I've given up trying to get in really good shape, and re-committed myself to not getting any worse.