Gotta get rid of these free radicals, but first I need to figure out what they are.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.
Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.
The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.
The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.