Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.
The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.
Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
We should create a holiday that celebrates money for what it is, essentially worthless paper, upon which we agree to pretend it has value.
I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.