Few things interest me more than the things people don't say.

If you hug someone goodbye and their response is what the hell are you doing? - you may want to examine you're definition of close friend.

Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

Ending a sentence with yo, is like saying, I don't want a job. Not today. Not ever. Know what I mean yo?

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.