I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

Water polo would be much more interesting if they hadn't gotten rid of the horses.

Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs.

Dating is great unless you don't like horrible awkwardness, lying, and a deep foreboding sense of disappointment that never goes away.

I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.