I like to be able to connect with people. And that's how I connect, right away. I like to really talk to somebody. To me, it makes my night more interesting.

The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.

If you carry a paperback book in your back pocket, but spend more time on your hair than you do reading it, you're probably a bad actor.

Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.

When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.