The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt.

One day I'd like to beat you at your own game, but your game is badmitton so that will probably never happen.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.

A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.