Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

Comedy is rarely funny.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

Misery loves company which is ironic because it rarely throws dinner parties.