Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.
Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.
Dating a white girl is like dating a black girl if she were really passive-agressive.
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.