Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

Patriotism for the sake of is like choosing sides in a war based on the color of their uniforms.

There must be 15 shows about people's jobs: 'Ice Road Trucker,' 'Axe Men,' 'Dirty Jobs.' Unemployment is so high, we're watching people work.

You know you've lived in LA to long when what you fear most about prison is a lack of organic produce.

Just saw a t-shirt at the gym said, body by torture. That's a lot less ironic if you're a political prisoner in the Middle East.

People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.