If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.

Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.

Gay men greet each other just like straight guys do... If one of the straight guys saved the other one's life.

Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.