It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.