It's difficult to feel silly and depressed at the same time, but I manage.

What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.