It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.

Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

America's objective in the Middle East is to create democracy in the same way that my goal on a first date to feed women.

The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.