Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.
If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.
I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.
Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.
People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.
Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.