I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.
We're in this together usually means I'm here for you, unless it requires me getting into my car anywhere near rush hour.
I'm no quitter, unless it comes to human relationships or math and science.
You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.