Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

I really appreciate the way you don't appreciate me, said my subconscious as I agreed to go out with her yet again.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.