Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.

When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

Suicide is like the ejector button in the cockpit of an F-15. If life goes into a permanent tail spin, it's nice to know the option is there.

Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.