Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.

I like Irish pubs, except for all the loud music and drinking, and people acting like idiots.

The good things in life are free, except for health care, and electricity.

A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

Only bugs can truly appreciate the beauty of flowers.

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.