Love is nature's LSD. You're going to see things that aren't really there.

Sex sells, unless you're dehydrated in which case you'd be much more likely to purchase water.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.