People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

The man I want to be could easily beat me up.

Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.