Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.
Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.
If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.
If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.
If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.
I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.