If only you understood the way I felt... it wouldn't help much because I don't really like you as a person.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.

When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?