Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.