Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

Break ups are painful, but if initiated at the right time can fuel one's sense of optimism.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.

If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

The best thing about bugs is their lack of self consciousness, also the ability to fly doesn't hurt.