Do you ever have one of those weeks where you know nothings gonna go right?

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.

Domestic violence isn't funny, especially if you live together.

Coming to terms with my feelings of worthlessness isn't always a bad time, but it's rarely a good one.

Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.

Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.