Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

White people set goals, rappers 'chase paper', and the Chinese are too busy doing both to talk about either one.

Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.

Whoever said life without love isn't worth living didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.

Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.

I can always tell when a girl comes from a good family because she's what's known as not at all attracted to me.