I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

People increase their use of the term 'sir' when their angry. Little do they know, it only causes me to feel more like I'm wearing a top hat.

Being anti-social can also mean that you're aware of how annoying it is to be social.

Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.

Maybe necrophiliacs are just people that want to have sex without a lot of talking.