I would imagine that most of the people who consider themselves successful aren't, at least in the ways that really matter-myself included.

I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

I'm pretty sure whoever said, people are wonderful spent very little time with people.

Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.