Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

You have the attention span of a large bug, and yet I don't feel good enough about myself to not date you.

Most public bathrooms now have automatic toilet sensors. People can't even be trusted to flush.

Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.

People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Cities with a black middle class provide the narrow minded an opportunity to realize that cultural differences are largely economic.