It's a shame that physical beauty often has such a negative effect on its occupant.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

Next time I spank a girl during sex, I'll say, this is going to hurt me more than it will you.

Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?

My bedroom is so messy, if I died of natural causes, the cops would be like no he didn't, clearly there was a struggle.

It may not be in the constitution, but every American has a god-given right to provinciality and ignorance.