Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.

A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.