What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.

Comedy is rarely funny.

Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.

Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.