What is sex addiction? I asked a doctor and the guys goes, Sex addiction... People will end up doing something they don't want to do just for sex. Isn't that called a first date, man? If sex was the result of something I wanted to do, there'd be condoms all over my PlayStation.

Anticipation almost always exceeds the reality of that which we anticipated.

My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

I'd find myself more interesting if I weren't with me all the time.

Do you love me for me?... I don't even love me for me.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.