I consider myself a patriot, but not for the traditional reasons. I'm just really passionate about apple pie.

When maintaining a relationship means diminishing your self, it's time to walk.

I've decided to become gay, not in a sexual way, but I am going to start picking up around the house.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

Is it a bad sign when you see the person you're dating and get the same feeling as if you just saw police lights in you're rear view mirror?

I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

Cheerleaders are simultaneously everything that is right and wrong with the world.