Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

The man I want to be could easily beat me up.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.