People shouldn't take my lack of interest in what they're saying personally. I don't really care about what I'm saying most of the time.
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Parenthood seems really rewarding... like martyrdom, but without the glamour.
Being proud of your nationality is like congratulating yourself for inheriting money.
Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.