I have emotional needs that I didn't know I had, and I have physical needs that I didn't know weren't really needs.
Mirrors at the gym only serve to remind me that I'm less of a man than I'd like to be.
The fabric of society is woven together by the needle of suppression and denial.
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?
Nike store won't accept my Starbucks card as payment. Come on guys, just do it.
Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.