Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend.

I wish that every other guy were gay. Think about the leverage that would create in your relationship.

Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.

The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.