The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.
I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.
Flying first class means sitting next to a better class of person I don't want to talk to.
Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.
If I ever move in with a woman, she'll have to be really comfortable with unhappiness.