My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.
Life is fragile, unless your in the NFL in which case you'll need to wear padding.
Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.
Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.
Living by the beach means feeling guilty about never going to the beach.