The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.

Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.

Learn to think for yourself, unless of course you can identify someone else with better judgement, and a flashlight.

Everybody's angry with me because, apparently, I outed my cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. My cousin goes, 'You had the last leg.' I was like, 'You're gay.

How can there not already be a rapper named 'O'pinion'?

People that say I have a 'fear of commitment' don't understand my relationship with popcorn.