Please reduce the expectation in your tone when asking me how my day is going.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.

I'd like to expand the definition of the word 'success' to include 'failure' as the one seems inseparable from the other.

You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

Women often use large fake breasts like a gun, pointing the weapon at you in an attempt to garner the attention their father never gave them.

I find anger so comforting. It's like a blanket made of unresolved issues, but it's a blanket none the less.