Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

Guys don't use the word pretty enough. Like, hey Mike, did you get that shirt at the game? Looks really pretty on you.

Sex sells, but doesn't work so well as a strong-arm tactic. Give me your purse or I'll make out with you so hard.

Quality thoughts will turn their back on you if you don't treat them with respect.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.