Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.

Stop thanking god for your parking spot. He had nothing to do with it, and if he did, I want nothing to do with him.

My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

I'm passionate about gay rights, but I think we need admit that there are some gay wrongs as well.

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

Comedy is a cruel mistress, especially if you're already seeing a really cruel mistress.