People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding.

I'm endlessly amazed by what people are capable of, and incapable of.

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.

If you spend a lot of time shopping for athletic clothes, you may want to consider spending less time thinking about high school.

I would imagine that not having any potential could be less difficult than not fulfilling it.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.