People would be so much more interesting if they'd behave like who they are, and not like what they think others expect them to be.

Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.

Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.