I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.

Canadians are like Americans, just less racist, violent, and ignorant.

Misery loves company which is ironic because it rarely throws dinner parties.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

Heard someone say children are god's gift to the world. What world are you referring to? And what's your definition of gift?

The next actor I meet that uses the term 'courageous' to describe another actor's performance is getting punched in the face.

Violence is never the answer, unless you don't feel like talking.