A lot of people wouldn't feel miserable in this environment. A lot of people aren't dating my girlfriend.

Man's inhumanity toward man is astounding, and I'm just talking about the lineup at certain comedy clubs.

Facebook is great for getting upset about things people say even though you haven't seen them in 12 years.

Sex sells, unless you're dehydrated in which case you'd be much more likely to purchase water.

Health food would seem healthier if the people that sold it looked less unhealthy.

All politicians promise that which they cannot deliver. I just wish they did so less gleefully.

TV can be an acronym for television or transvestite. I prefer using it to describe the the latter. The former is strange and undignified.