Homemade' sounds much better when not referring to tattoos.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

People who say life is precious don't spend much time on line at the airport.

False humility is thinly veiled ego disguised as self confidence.

I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

Is it a bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend makes you say things like, Satan is a myth... I guess.

America has so much debt, if she were a person she'd need a co-signer to get a car loan.