Was thinking of taking a yoga class, then realized I wasn't gay. Whew. Close one.

Assassinating someone is another way of saying I care, just not in the way they'd want you to.

Upside of being an attractive woman; if you're remotely intelligent, people will treat you like you're brilliant. Downside: same thing.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

Fountains are more romantic when you don't hate the person you're with.

I'd put my faith in god, but I haven't met him, and I've been hurt before.