The Statue of Liberty really is profound, I just wish she'd lighten up a bit.

Money can't buy happiness, unless you're favorite hooker's name is 'Happiness'.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Thinking about the fathomless cruelty with which man has treated his fellow man, but also ice cream.

Hard to explain to a guard dog that you need it to protect you from yourself.

Animals look at people the way people look at people that might mug them.

Finding your voice is something you have to keep working at. Your voice as a comic evolves the same way that you evolve. You have to find out what works for you. How can you express your opinion, your take on the situations in a way that feels natural to you? That's where you find your voice.