Big black guys fear air travel almost as much as old white women fear big black guys.

Suicide is a terrible idea, but if you're going to end it, do so at a Pinkberry near you.

Laughing at ones own attempt at humor while saying things just come to me should be punishable by death.

Monogamy is god's way of making death seem like a more reasonable option.

When rappers call each other son it leads me to believe they don't take fatherhood very seriously.

Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

Is there anything more attractive than a woman in high heels and low self esteem?