Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Vegas; one of the few places still encouraging men in their fifties to dress like their in a boy-band from the 80's.

Being homeless is awful, but if you've ever tried to wrestle a duvet cover back onto a comforter you realise it's not without it's benefits.

Nothing good about the sun if you're trying to watch television with out curtains.

I hate to see a woman cry, unless of course I'm crying first in which case I feel it's appropriate.

Bad sign when the thought of your x-girlfriend sends you reeling in a search for new adjectives to describe stupidity and thoughtlessness?

Few things are more annoying than too many of any one ethnicity in the same room.