I'm pretty happy for someone who struggles with happiness.

You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.

Whenever I'm around people it causes me to feel nostalgic for the loneliness that drove me into their presence in the first place.

The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.

Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

America is a hot chick with a bad personality. Take her seriously and you'll end up hating yourself.