I'm pretty happy for someone who struggles with happiness.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

I'd like you much better if you didn't like yourself so much.

Standup comedy is fun. I mean other than having to experience the excruciating lonlieness and unacknowledged sadness that results in funny.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

I've always wanted children... not of my own, but for yard work and reaching into tight places to get things I've dropped.