Skin heads are doing an awful job of promoting racism. You guys need to loosen up, and for god's sake would it kill you to smile.

I wish I could be attracted to unattractive women. They're just more interesting.

Many television weather-women were one abusive parent away from prostitution.

The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

I've never understood why anybody makes a big deal about mansions. It's just a house with more rooms. You still have to face yourself.

Living one's life with unguarded vulnerability is one of the keys to happiness. It's also one of the keys to getting mugged.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.