The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.

I'm neither professional fighter nor physicist, therefore on some level I will always consider myself a failure.

Perhaps depression is a perfectly natural reaction to the human condition.

If I were a bad black comic I would name my special, Yo mama, and other stories of a lack of self awareness.

You're pregnant? Congratulations, the world needs another mindless, semiliterate consumer.

Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

Comedy has been my way to reconcile with the world. I didn't really set out to do this, but comedy has served as my outlet to address my issues I have with this crazy world.