Pine nuts pound for pound are more expensive than most varieties of smoked salmon. There I said it.

If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

Perhaps being hated in the right way is preferable to being loved in the wrong one.

I've decided to aim a telescope at my neighbour's window. It's the closest I'll ever come to living with someone comfortably.

Domestic abuse is wrong, but domestic retribution is okay.

You can't fool the American people - politician trying to fool the American people.

The great thing about having a small family is that there are fewer people to disappoint.