My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.

Why hasn't anyone opened a night club named 'No Drugs Allowed, Wink, Wink'?

Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.

When cornered, a rattle snake can become so angry it's been known to bite itself, which is exactly how I feel in traffic and relationships.

Not sure how I feel about reality. I'm going to begin purchasing stuffed animals and endowing them with the qualities people in my life lack.

We're born alone and we die alone. So in between, let's spend time with people that make us feel good... or at least put-out.

The world treats beautiful people like they're good at something, which makes it so that they almost never get good at something.